Being a joiner, but learning how to say no to things you have no interest in

The last few weeks I’ve really made a concerted effort to be more of a joiner. I’ve joined a book club, decided to start volunteering at the animal shelter, and I’m taking a painting class. These are all things that were carefully chosen since I have a genuine interest in them.


It’s important to join things, to get together with like-minded people, and learn something new. However it’s also okay to say “no” to things you have no interest in. For me this was fantasy football.

I have absolutely zero interest in regular football let alone a fantasy version of it. It’s just not my thing. So when my department at work put together a fantasy football draft I politely declined. A lot of people tried to include me, gave me repeated offers to join, and said that they would help put together my โ€œteamโ€ if I needed it. I appreciated the effort, but again it’s not my thing.

As much as I want to try new things I also don’t want to be the kind of person who does something just because everyone else is doing it. It didn’t work in 7th grade when all the cool kids were sniffing markers in math class, and it’s not going to work now. Not to say that sniffing markers and joining fantasy football leagues are the same thing, but you get my point.

Doubling Point

I’m past the age of giving a crap what anybody thinks. I’ve learned through experience that if I do join these kinds of things I end up resenting it, flaking out on activities, and going deeper into my own shell which is the exact opposite of what I want to be doing!

Instead I think I’ll stick with things I actually have an interest in, and save my seat at the draft table for someone who actually wants it.

Do you consider yourself a joiner? Is it hard for you to say โ€œnoโ€ to something you have no interest in?


  1. Good for your Steph! Life is too short to not try new things if you think they might interest you. Life is also too short to force yourself into things when you know in your heart, they aren’t for you. It’s good to step out of your comfort zone, but it’s just as important to learn to say “no”.

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