The word itch in any context always has a negative connotation to it: “the itch you can’t scratch,” “Doctor, I have this itch,” and the dreaded relationship one—“the 7-month itch.” None of them leaves you with a warm and fuzzy feeling. My 5-month itch was no exception.
Truth be told I’ve been in a funk since my family visited a couple of weeks ago. It wasn’t just their visit, but a myriad of other things that put me in such a state. Homesickness was just a small factor. My sister has been having a lot of health issues lately, and as her older sister I feel like it’s my job to protect her from these things. How? I don’t know, but somehow I felt that if I was home I would know. Since I’m neither there or a doctor, I was feeling pretty powerless.
In addition to family issues I’ve also been worried about my other relationships. The details are not important—basically it was just my mind working itself into a lather. On top of all that it dawned on me that I’ve been in Maine for almost 5 months now. I’ve settled into my routine, and while my weekends look a lot different than they used to, my weekdays look pretty similar. Things that were shiny and new when I first got here have started to lose their luster.
I still think it’s awesome that I live on the coast, that I pass the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow monument every morning, and that I can get a lobster roll anytime I want—but I’ve gotten used to these things. They’ve become the norm. I was worried that I was already sick of Maine—that this was a 5-month itch.
So I did what has become my tradition here in Maine when I need to work through something—I went to a lighthouse. It was my first visit to the Doubling Point Lighthouse and as soon as I drove up, I knew I had found one of my new favorites. Since it’s one of the lesser-known lighthouses I had the whole place to myself, and I reveled in it. I spent over an hour there working through these feelings.
I realized that I am always going to miss my family. That just comes with the territory. The flip side is that this places really does feed my soul. I’ve never felt such a connection to a place as I do to Maine. It makes me come alive in a way I never knew I was capable of.
I also had to remind myself to live in the moment. Often times I’m feeling guilty for the past or wanting to skip ahead to the future when I should be reveling in this awesome life I’ve created for myself now. It’s pretty amazing that I moved here all on my own, and made this all work! I may never get an opportunity like this again so I need to live this Maine adventure to the fullest.
As for the itch I think it was more of a pull. I think when you live far away from your loved ones you will always feel the pull to be with them. No situation is going to be 100% ideal. You just have to follow your gut, and do what you feel is best for you.
Is it hard for you to be away from your loved ones? How do you cope with the distance?